"I've just discovered praying. This is going to save me fucking millions in charity donations"
"You're selling an invisible product. It doesn't get any easier than that. No one's ever going to come back from the dead and say, 'Ah, it's bullshit up there. There's no heaven. It's just an empty lot'"
"Were I a Roman Catholic, perhaps I should on this occasion vow to build a chapel to some saint, but as I am not, if I were to vow at all, it should be to build a light-house"
"We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further"
"You never hear in the news, '200 killed today when Atheist rebels took heavy shelling from the Agnostic stronghold in the North.'"